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You Deserve The Gift Of Happiness

Lately, I’ve been meditating a lot over the idea of happiness. Most people, my past self included, think that happiness is a destination. One you reach after you tick off a long, challenging list of tasks that validate your worth to this exclusive club called happiness. The reason why this perception is faulty – and ultimately, it does the opposite of its purpose, by letting happiness slip through your fingers as an elusive idea – is because it’s not a destination to begin with.

It’s not a reward if you’ve been good enough by doing this and that. Chasing that eternally elusive ‘one more thing’ around the corner, that all too familiar mindset of “Let me get just this one more thing, and I’m definitely gonna be happy”, will only topple you into the next capricious wishlist of the ego, and you’ll be no further to happiness than before. Because that’s the trap that your ego sets up; for better or worse, it knows nothing of true happiness because that is not its area of expertise. It only knows how to expand its perception of self worth, and that all ties in with material possessions, with reputation, with things that elude matters of the heart or soul. The ego believes it’s all matter over mind.

It’s not.

What is happiness?

Happiness is… a state of being. It’s something you can choose to be anytime, anywhere. It’s mind over matter. Instead of a reward system, it’s your body’s most natural state of being, along with peace. Simply being, simply living mindfully, gives you inklings of that sense of happiness.

Certainly, happiness is something subjective and personal to each individual… so then, how do we train ourselves to be more receptive and open to it?

Train yourself to be open to happiness

Weeks ago while riding a motorcycle, something I hadn’t done in a long while, I had an epiphany. The joy of riding, the speed, slipping out of the routine and familiarity of my city, of traveling and sight-seeing, of seeing the world as I know it in a liberating blur – I was filled with a burst of euphoria that overwhelmed me. I’d forgotten what it was like to ride.

I realized something so simple yet powerful then: this was happiness. That happiness doesn’t show in one universal format, or a single moment at the end of your well-earned life. It pops up every day, in seemingly trivial moments.

When I ride a bike, it’s a short-lived bloom of euphoria.

When I write, it’s a soul-nourishing, deeply-fulfilling sense of happiness. It’s steady and quiet but my God, it fills me up to the brim until I feel like I’m on top of the world and can do anything.

When I’m with friends and they make me laugh so hard that my stomach aches and my cheeks hurt and my heart feels so full that I can’t imagine ever being sad again – that’s a luminous, healing sort of happiness, one that seems to fill up every broken crack and dark place in my soul, until they are all padded with fluffy cotton-candy happiness of being known and feeling seen at the core of my being.

When I sit in a garden in the morning having a cup of tea, watching the clear blue sky, listening to the buzz of insects and bees and chirp of birds, the peaceful silence that is the ancient sound of nature alight with life, it’s a serene sort of happiness, one that makes my soul smile, and nothing else matters, even if it’s as ephemeral as a ten-minute cup of tea.

What else makes me happy? Forest walks, cuddling with my cat, enjoying my comfort foods, baking bread with family. Sleeping in and waking naturally, sitting in the sunlight all day long (with SPF50 on of course) to soak up that nourishing light. Discovering new vegan products, because I still remember 10 years ago a market with such products was nonexistent in my area – now it is, and I’m always grateful that it’s more accessible to all.

You see, I could go on all day. These are all moments of happiness, and now I am mindful to implement as much of them into my daily life. If I know what makes me happy, it’s an act of selfcare and selflove to provide just that for myself.

If I know what makes me happy, it’s an act of selfcare and selflove to provide just that for myself.

And if you close your eyes and meditate over it, I’m certain that you have those moments of happiness too. In grand moments, or in seemingly trivial moments which are as precious as anything else. That is where your happiness lies.

Find what makes you happy, then do it daily

photography of woman listening to music

If you’ve been conditioned by society that happiness is this distant, unattainable thing, so much so that you don’t even recognize it when it’s right in front of you, the way to them is re-learn what happiness means to you, specifically.

Ask yourself, what does it look like for you? What events, activities, people and moments evoke happiness in you?

Perhaps it’s knitting, or baking delicious goods for your family. Perhaps it’s little roadtrips on the weekends with colleagues or friends, or listening to your favorite music in bed at night with earphones in, away in your happy world. It can be the tiniest things, like your partner giving you a neck massage every evening as you talk about how your days went alongside a cup of tea. Or cuddling with your pets after a long day of work, or just creating simple, fun little doodles everyday. All those moments add up, and that’s what revitalizes your soul the most.

woman walking against art background

Think of what sparks joy for you. There’s a fine line between joy and happiness, and the smaller you make that distance between them, the more receptive you can be to enjoying happiness day by day. Then work actively to do more of what makes you happy.

Your happiness is not at the end of the path. It’s right here right now, strewn like flowers alongside the road you’re walking but blinded to, because all you’re looking is forward.

Stop and smell the flowers, love.

Not someday, not “after I get that one thing”, not tomorrow. Now. Because you deserve that happiness you’ve always wanted.

You deserve it. Right here, right now.

Much love always...

💋 Lumen

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