Figure out what your signature style is.
What colors, textures and styles make you feel at your best? Is it wearing lots of statement jewelry and bold colors? Is it pastels and cute, soft clothing? Is it gothic fashion with all-black everything? Experiment if you need and figure out what is your power style and commit to it, because it’s what’s going to make you feel good any day.
Practice mindfulness.
Check in with yourself every day over your wellbeing – mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, you name it. Make it a habit to pause throughout the day to just ask yourself, “Wait, how do I actually feel about this? Is this encroaching on any boundaries of mine? Do I truly want to do this or do I feel pressured?” Then, act accordingly, holding your best interest at heart. Honor your feelings, instincts, and intuition.
Never shrink or filter yourself…
…in order to be more palatable for the people around you. Make this a practice as well – if at any point you feel you have to quiet, tame, alter or filter yourself, in order to gain validation of x or y person – pause and ask yourself if it’s really worth sacrificing your individuality or personality to appease another person. What’s holding you back?
Ok, maybe they won’t understand or resonate with you. Maybe they’ll feel it’s too much or too loud or extravagant or strange. Darling, look at it from a winner’s perspective: if it really is either of those cases, hold the door open for them and good riddance, because they don’t know how to appreciate you, and that’s not on you! It’s on them.
Take ownership of your choices.
Build the healthy habit of making your own argumented choice, before you think of checking in with the opinions of those you value. First on foremost, decide your mind. Only afterwards – if you still need input – see other perspectives. The key here is to become comfortable and confident in your own decisions, and not feeling like you need a foundation or to have it justified by other people.
Let’s be honest, 99% of the time you already know what you prefer and why you prefer it. This habit of asking friends, family, etc. is only an unconscious attempt to justify your choice which is already made, but are not yet confident about. So make your choice, do so mindfully, and take ownership over it. Being informed and sensible is a great thing, just make sure the decision maker is you in your life, and nobody else.
Romanticize your life.
Craft your personal narrative with intent and care, romanticize it in every possible way, make yourself interesting in your own mind, craft your identity into that of the protagonist in the story of your life – because you are! A little playful self-indulgence goes a long way, and can spice up your life.
Remember that you get to define your story; not your family or your past or the toxic relationships you might have had. You get to choose the puzzle pieces that make up the wholeness of your identity. So why not create something beautiful you’re proud of?
Release any regrets or shame.
What use is it to live your life being self-conscious, embarrassed or ashamed of being who you are, dressing the way you want or doing the things you truly want to do? Baby, you have this live, grab it with both hands and make it glorious and fun and exciting to live! It’s your life and you deserve to be happy! Please let go of any pent up shame, regrets, or guilt.
Do the work if you have to with the help of specialists or therapists, they can help you so much – because those are burdens that only hold you back from stepping into your true power. The world isn’t gonna be any brighter or better if you dim your own light! Nobody’s ever been made happier just because you bowed your head and accepted feeling ashamed for things that were perfectly natural – about your body, your sexual orientation, your relationships, your past, your choices, anything at all.
You owe it to yourself to embody your authentic self. Don’t deprive the world of your unique radiance and light.
