High Value misconceptions are common.

In the past two years since the rise of the new concept “High Value Woman“, it took various communities, both online and offline, like a whirlwind. Those communities are the ones focusing on glowing up, hypergamy, self-development, but interestingly enough it has also appeared in communities oriented towards men, on what constitutes a HVW or LVW in their perception.

It is only normal that a concept that becomes highly popular, can also become easily dissociated from its original, true meaning, through misconception or simply disinterest in its authentic meaning, by using it as an umbrella term for subjective values and principles that have nothing to do with a growth mindset, elegance, empathy or even a healthy attachment style, where it concerns relationships or dating.

What is to be done in that case? I would advise against jumping ship and abandoning all ties with the concept, a concept that aids in your self development after all. Otherwise, any ideology that was intended for beneficial reasons, can be corrupted and appropriated – and the idea remains, yet the term for it needs to be redefined, yet again. Instead, strengthen the original purpose and significance of the concept.

Personally, the ideology of High Value resonates with me because I view it as a crisp guideline to help me become my highest self; likewise it is meant to help you in becoming the most accomplished woman you can be. It’s not about pressure, social conventions, or mandatory qualifications – it’s all between you, for you. It’s important to remember that.

But it is absolutely imperative to understand the perspective of this ideology. High does not mean superior, it does not mean better than. It does not focus on being higher valued (“Higher valued woman”), but of being inherently of higher value, first and foremost for yourself, not for others. And equally importantly, the system of values for High Value is only based on things which you have control over, not anything you are born with and so is not under your control. But more on that later…

Now, let’s review what this concept is, and what it is not, once and for all.

What “High Value” Isn’t…

1. It Isn’t about others.

A common high value misconception is that it’s relative to what you can offer to others. The truth is, it’s not about what you can do for others. It’s not about creating a persona that pleases others, or fulfills some ideal fantasy that other people (or other men) have.

Your high value has nothing to do with them. Your high value is about character, principles, morals, etc. – they either see and appreciate it, or they don’t.

The High Value concept is not an ideology to be appropriated by people who just seek to use it as a labeling system over what is a “worthy woman/high value” and what is “unworthy woman/low value”.

If you see posts, articles or books on that, simply ignore them. The High Value concept is not a playground for men’s subjective dreamgirl fantasies.

2. It isn’t about gender, it’s not about women or men.

In 2021, I should hope we’re far beyond such limited thinking! Certainly, my blog focuses on women as primary audience because that is what I have most experience in, but it is dedicated to anyone who wants to connect with their femininity, with the principle of the divine feminine within them, with goddess energy, with everything that encompasses. And so, High Value is not about gender, but about inherent value (because we all have inherent value, regardless of anything)!

An easy, convenient system of judgement over who is inherently superior vs inferior is not the scope of the High Value ideology. If that’s what you have been lead to believe from various blogs, social media, books or other sources, know that it is a twisted perception that does not honor the High Value concept’s scope at all. Read on to understand its true purpose.

3. It isn’t a laundry list for dating.

Another high value misconception is that it’s a dating checklist.

It’s not an a-ha! sticky note to pull out as dating strategies that have an eskewed perception of what a healthy relationship should be like. Other people don’t get to decide that being a career woman, or being highly intelligent and knowledgeable, is “low value” of you – that’s their eskewed perception of what a woman should be like.

And although that is generally an unhealthy mindset (because in a proper healthy relationship, both partners support each other’s growth, whether personal or professional), it is their subjective belief, one which you don’t need to argue, agree, or invest any energy in.

Let them believe what they wish. You already know your value, darlings, and it’s not dependent on other people’s contorted beliefs. It’s only dependent on your beliefs on your own value. Know the difference.

What “High Value” Is…

1. It is about the self.

About you, about becoming the best version of yourself, creating a life of fulfillment, happiness, and likewise relationships that help you grow. As an additional note, when you understand that by upgrading yourself, and only accepting a partner that has done the same, you have truly leveled up your relationships as well.

Can you imagine a High Value Woman dating a Low Value Man – someone who does not appreciate or value her, does not honor her needs and boundaries, does not treasure her? He would only bring her down to his level to balance the power dynamic and silence his insecurity, and thus downgrade her. Replace the genders in any way you wish, the point stands that you should always surround yourself with the environment that represents your values, your mindset, and most importantly, your standards. As far as dating and relationships go, if that is an interest of yours, only a High Value Man (also known simply as a gentleman) can truly honor a HVW, and only further support her growth, both his and her own.

2. Instead of gender-based, it’s individual-based.

It’s about character, education, priorities, principles and more. It’s for any person that is committed to becoming a better person and creating a better life for themselves.

3. It is a general guideline.

One which is meant to help you in your personal and professional development. As mentioned, it’s not a rigid list of requirements serving other people’s “dreampartner” fantasies. Its scope is to aid you in leveling up. If you find that it’s not helping you for some reason, perhaps the guideline needs to be tailored more to your needs, that is after all the whole point! So don’t let yourself be intimidated by it, it’s there to help you. Use it to your advantage as a compass that will lead you to embodying your highest self.

Until next time, my glow up queens.