Although the circumstances of 2021 may lower a veil of illusion – that we are disconnected – the truth is we have always been one, and will continue to be one. The only thing that isolates us, is our perception. Our beliefs. Our fears. Our judgements. Our assumptions. The walls we put up around ourselves, between each other – emotional and otherwise…
Have you ever noticed how prevalent the actions and behaviors associated with low value are in the media? In books, tv shows? It is no wonder then, why that is what has become familiar to so many people across the world. And what is familiar, is associated with safe and attractive to your subconscious. What is familiar, you unconsciously replicate in your own life – life imitates art! So, by becoming conscious of and unfamiliarizing the low value traits, then familiarizing yourself with high value ones (both in your relationships and in your personal development), you are actively re-wiring yourself to register only high value traits as attractive and acceptable.
What is the ride or die mentality? It’s the mentality that you should be unconditionally loyal to the other person (whether it’s a friend, family member, or romantic partner), no matter what happens. What does this look like? If your partner goes into debt, you’re there to bail him out. If he slips up and cheats, you overlook it because he loves you so very much and apologised a thousand times. If a baby mama pops up out of nowhere, you learn to live with it (please don’t, you deserve more than being a side lady). If he has no job and needs a place to stay and he’s so nice to you, you offer to let him stay at your place for “just a few days” that eventually turn into months as he mooches off of you…
Physical clutter: Keep a clean, tidy, organized home. We often forget just how much of a negative impact that clutter, dust and stale energies can have on our wellbeing. It blocks our energies and anchors us in lower vibrations, and like a domino effect or vicious cycle, it can keep you stuck in an unhealthy place. Prioritizing a clean, tidy space can make all the difference in how you feel, your mental health, and your inner peace. If you have a stressful job or lifestyle, try implementing small steps for your home’s upkeep, start with 10-20 min every day in the evening to put away clutter, wipe down surfaces, put away dishes into the dishwasher, smooth any bedding, etc. A little improvement in your environment goes a long way, and you’ll feel so much better.
Everybody’s journey of self-love is different, but the first step is to begin. And as someone who’s been there, struggling by anxiety and lacking security in my identity, I can safely say it gets better. Self love changes everything. Everything, in the best ways. It changes how you view yourself and by extension it changes how you view life and the act of living. And when you know you deserve the world you will stop tolerating those who believe you deserve anything less.
If you are reading this, the universe is saying that it’s time for you to heal. You don’t have to sit with the open wound, burying it under pretenses, self-sabotage or other unhealthy habits. All those approaches popularised in movies, TV shows and books, they are outdated and do nothing for your true wellbeing. Pretending it doesn’t hurt? Pretending it doesn’t exist? Pretending you’re totally fine? None of those things are serving you, love.
I know a thing or two about self sabotage. In fact, the sad thing is that almost everyone does. Self sabotage is when you consciously or, most often, unconsciously follow an action or choice by which you are essentially betraying yourself. These choices are in the detriment of your physical, mental or emotional health. It may involve boundaries, it may involve doing things you know cause great stress. It may even mean going back to a toxic ex or friends, out of the wrong reasons.
We’ve discussed in detail how to get your life together and start healing from all the past wounds. We’ve established the principles of a classy woman, the difference between toxic and healthy relationships, as well
This is going to be a lengthy, messy and raw one. This is me saying you’re not alone, you do deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship, and yes, it gets better. Everybody goes through this. This is a step by step guide that takes you by the hand on how to get over a break up, and which you can refer to again and again, as many times as you need.
This is a story about persistence, learning to handle failures, battling depression and anxiety, and learning to overcome them all, because I made a commitment to myself to honor my true self, and refused to give up.